Inspiration -Pain-

So a lot of times in life we go through some stuff. Like honestly, we go through some real shit. Personally, so far this year I've dealt with a painful breakup from a relationship that I thought was serious and the death of a friend. Both have left holes in my heart that I doubt will ever heal entirely. Sure, everyday makes it a little bit easier and I'm able to overlook her dating again (the very guy she said she wasn't going to pursue) or I'm able to let her go a little bit more and not take the loss so personally, but I still lament them both. What am I trying to say here...I guess the point I'm trying to get at is that I'm not down. I'm hurt, it's affecting me, but I feel as though I'm being sculpted. Each day I feel lighter like another piece has been chiselled away and I can feel the divine in everything just a little bit more. Haha I feel like I should say something/make a point that's easy to remember for all of you that actually read this. I guess what I'm getting at is that everything's a choice. It certainly may not feel that way and I'm by no means expecting any human to go through drama completely unphased, but you can choose how long you let things affect you. I'm currently in another relationship and as silly as it may be I'm feeling pretty damn optimistic about it. I'm able to talk about losing my friend now...I can actually tell my story and share my relationship to her without wanting to cry over her death. Life goes on people. The world keeps on spinning and the moment continues to grow and blossom, building upon itself. We can't be so wrapped up in our own grief that we fail to see the beauty in others. There's a time to grieve and there's a time to be with yourself, away from the world, but you have to know when that time is over and when it's time to return to the world around you. I know people who have been holding on to the same situations for years. Carrying around that grief for years, that pain for years, that hurt for years and all of that torment is taken out on everyone around them. The woman from a bad relationship who finds it hard to trust a man. The man from a bad relationship who chooses to victimize women because of the experience. The friend who loses themselves and pushes everyone around them away. We all know these people. We've all been these people. Some of us are bound to be these people again. It's not worth the pain, and pessimism doesn't make the suffering any easier. I encourage you to let all of that past stuff go and relish in the now. The time for grief is over, get back to the things that are really important: Finding out about yourself, showing love to the things around you, and developing a way to live in harmony with your surroundings. If I believed in prayer I'd say one for you all but instead of that I have something better...music.

Sorry for the delay...

But I'm working on something big and when I'm done you'll be the first ones to know. Lately I've been coagulating all my ideas about life, it's purpose, how to live it blissfully, the afterlife, and the nature of God and now it's all starting to come together. Over the next few weeks (possibly month(s) depending on how busy I am) I'll be writing a manifesto containing all the ideas of this new philosophy I've dubbed "Transhumanism." I don't want to give out any spoilers or anything, but loose traces of these ideals can be seen all across my blogs, posts, comments, etc. I'll be out of the lab as soon as this new potion's mixed~

Dr. Toxin - Out.

Conversations on Hope...

Matt Strickland That's fucked up... Disapointed in humanity. :/

Toney Vega
What happened?

Matt Strickland
Some of my "friends" are just completely messed up. So much betrayel and two faced views...

Toney Vega
Yea that's always a bummer though. On the bright side, now you have more time to dedicate to other things that are beneficial to you. :)

Matt Strickland
True. Im working on myself more lately.

Toney Vega
I suppose those "friends" of yours just can't keep up with the changes.

Matt Strickland
Those "friends" of mine are a huge part of the reason why I have no hope for humanity. Loose morals and values and corrupt minds.

Toney Vega
Yea, I had that point as well. Keep developing yourself, the more grounded you become the more you attract things to you. Don't lose hope just yet, you'll be surprised at how much good there is in the world and how many open, caring, moral people there are.

Matt Strickland
Hmm. Wise words. I shall meditate on this tonight.

Toney Vega
Thanks. Tell me how it goes :)

Matt Strickland
I will.

Eden Ashley Beiser
indeed, humanity is a great disappointment.

Shani Zuldeglas
yeah no kidding...

Matt Strickland
I don't know how I'm supposed to clear the path for next step in evolution with all these immoral and disgusting people...

Shani Zuldeglas
I have just run into the same thing at the same time...

Matt Strickland
What happened?

Toney Vega
Haha not surprisingly, so have I. But we can't forget that we're clearing the path FOR these people so that they can learn a higher way of living. Right now they're acting out of fear. They're afraid of feeling inferior, afraid of opening their hearts, afraid of getting hurt, so they hurt others instead. It'll be alright and things will work ... See Moreout as long as you don't lose sight of the goal. We'll change the world, the how will take care of itself and the people who get in our way are only minor inconveniences. Don't make mountains out of mole hills :D

Matt Strickland
Damn Toney I don't understand how you can always keep so optimistic about things. I sometimes fear we can't do our job and the world will just become worse.

Shani Zuldeglas
yeah you are right toney....I have this tendacy to turn tornadic rather quickly...matt it is just the stuff that always is...the stuff that you have to try and not let it make you mad and sick...and that is so hard to do...

Matt Strickland
Lately I've been trying to live my life differently. I set my life by 4 rules based on the 4 elements. Be fluid like water and do everything you do as pure and beautiful as possible. Go with the flow like wind. life will come at you unexpected and if you go with the flow everything turns out alright. burn your grudges with fire. living life with grudges will only bring more pain. and give to everyone has earth gives to everyone.

Toney Vega
I'm so optimistic because no matter how bad things get there's always a ray of hope...and as cheesy as that sounds it's true. Look at any terrible period in history and there's always a group of people fighting for good and doing all they can for their fellow man. At its best, humanity can greatly outshine it's deepest of flaws in my opinion. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the more positive you are the more you attract positivity.

Matt Strickland
True. The law of attraction is a real thing. I know in times it may be hard for me to be as optimistic has most. But I will try and be more optimistic about life and the future. The grass is much greener on the other side.

Toney Vega
That's good to hear my friend :)

Shani Zuldeglas
awwww...you guys are causing me to have some hope again....

Toney Vega
:D There's always reason to hope Ms. Wind.

The Food

I don't know about you guys, but I love Outkast. Ever since they arrived back in the 90's I was instantly hooked. I know you all remember apologizing to Ms. Jackson and being So Fresh and So Clean but I really encourage you to take a step back and re-open your memories. Nostalgia's one hell of a drug and if we can look past it we can actually learn from our own histories and see things we missed the first time around like why that relationship failed or why you watched that movie when you did or what that sermon really means. If you do this, you can move forward in life in a better way than if you continue to push forward in the darkness. You gotta know where you came from before you can know where you're trying to go...or more accurately...what you're capable of.

Distractions

My life goes in cycles, two modes to be precise. I go from the erratic- constantly in search of the new, engaging, unusual, and surreal to the stable- staunchly focused on not shaking things up or breaking the mold; playing it safe. I have never really studied myself as to why I cycle between the two until recently and I've come to the conclusion that I'm by nature more so of an erratic individual and my pursuits of "stability" are really bouts of fear and doubt when "I" think my lofty goals and ideals are too far out of reach. You can't listen to the voices that feed you doubt... how's that old sayin go? Shoot for the stars because if you fail you'll land on a nebula? Something like that. If you go for your dreams, no matter how big or small, rational or ridiculous, you can't help but to get noticed. Meditate on what you want, visualize it, feel it, appreciate everything you have now, and just go for it and the universe will make a way for you to shine.

Upgrade

So The Vault has been upgraded and so has the Forgebot. Hello and welcome to the Lab under the ever present eye of yours truly - Dr. Toxin. This is the home for the strange, the new, the bizarre, and the nostalgic...welcome and enjoy.

It lives!

Hello again world, it's Mr. Vega here to revive the forge- my dump for all things musically controversial yet abstract. I'll be your host for this twisted journey down the rabbit hole so sit back, relax, and enjoy the red pill.

Speaking of the Matrix I just went back and saw the Animatrix again. For those of you not in the know, the Animatrix was a film made up of around 10 animated shorts all centered around the Matrix. Though only three of these shorts had any input from the W. Brothers, each story is both visually stunning and moving story-wise. I particularly want to focus on two of the shorts, fogive me because I've forgotten the titles.

The first short I want to talk about tells the story of a world-class sprinter who accidentally sees the Matrix. Early on in the clip you find out that he is being accused of taking performance-enhancing drugs and he's still recovering from an injury. Despite these obstacles he commits to running in a race and breaking his world record again. His trainer gives up on him because he's determined to run, he appears to be a very lonesome guy, and on top of all this the Agent Smith characters know of his decision and begin to monitor him closely. Bang! The race begins and he starts off strong going faster and faster. The animation slows so you can see his face bounce because he is completely relaxed, his muscles tighten and tighten as he begins to break away from the pack. Everything is going great for him and suddenly reality begins to break up the scenery. He keeps running though, undaunted by this and the Agents now try to converge on him. "He's waking up!" they scream, "Stop him, he's waking up!" But it's too late, he's free from the Matrix and is now running in his pod about to break free, but soon new restraints come and pin his arms and legs and he is thrust back into the Matrix bloodied and bruised from the conflict. The fans look to him in a mixture of awe and disbelief, he broke his record but he'll also never run again. The next shot of him is as he's being pushed out of the hospital in a wheelchair with his legs restrained. The nurse stops him by a window and as she's distracted he begins to get up again. He has to get out. His legs break through his restraints but suddenly he's down again; the nurse was an agent in disguise.

So think about it. A man sets a goal for himself and in the midst of achieving that goal he finds some truth, and in the pursuit of that truth he gets brought down by those who he'd never expected.

Think about that for a second...who in your life's keeping you from the truth? Who's keeping you locked in the same routines/rituals from day to day? Is is your lover? Your spouse? Your friend? Your parent? These people should be constantly pushing us to do our best shouldn't they? Or maybe it's you keeping someone else down. We're spiritual beings on a journey for a human experience so why waste time rolling around in the muk of life when we can soar? I encourage you all to be like the runner and push past your limitations of poverty, sickness, experience, and race and fight with everything you have for your truth. Only you can save yourself from your situation whatever that may be, but that's a post for another day.



End Transmission.